


Life is Beautiful

by taserfox



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Darcy Feels, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Angst, Loki Needs a Hug, tasertricks - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-17 13:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10595268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taserfox/pseuds/taserfox
Summary: Loki has been holding himself together by threads since he fell from the Bifrost. When he finally breaks, can Darcy put him back together?





	1. Everything is Grey

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in over three years. Tasertricks has reclaimed my heart and soul, and for it I have even made a new tumblr, beatificangel.tumblr.com. Please be kind, and any feedback is appreciated!

_Life is beautiful,_

_But you don't have a clue_

_Sun and ocean blue,_

_They're magnificent,_

_It don't make sense to you..._

 

The fall from the Bifrost had felt like an eternity, a drowning descent into darkness. Loki still replayed the exact moment in his mind, the frozen look of horror on his brother’s face etched sharply into his memory, the feeling of terror in his heart as he slipped from the rainbow bridge.

So too, did he remember clearly the pain that followed the numbness. Thanos’ cruel face, the centuries of torture he endured. Or so it had seemed then. Even still, when he returned to Midgard, mind bent and body broken, his wit and mirth had not left him. Oh, it had darkened, yes. The shadows that had ever crept at the corners of his consciousness, never daring to bare themselves to light, suddenly flooded every thought, every word he uttered. Loki had struggled against the pain, accepted the darkness and thrived on the power. But he had never lost the spark. Until now.

Loki sat against the padded walls of his quarters, face pressed against the cold glass of the window. Outside it was raining, sky grey and dim. The apartment Stark had furnished him with contained little more than a washstand and end table. The Man of Iron had at first argued with Loki, insisting on modern amenities and stylish decor to fit the sleek aesthetic of the rest of the Tower, but Loki would not allow it. Instead, Loki had arranged the room to his liking.

When Thor first visited Loki in his new quarters, his expression had darkened, fist tightening around Mjolnir. Loki could remember fragments of a fight that had ensued, some petty argument...it was too far away to recall completely.

He closed his eyes against the deafening patter of rain on the glass, tried to drown out the thoughts racing in his mind...if only he could remember...

“Loki...”

The soft voice broke into his thoughts and for a moment Loki tried to recall who’s voice it was. It called out to him again. Female, he thought, then drifted again, losing focus in the tide of emotions swirling within his mind.

Soft hands reached for his own, attempting to pull him away from the window. Loki automatically stiffened, then slumped even further against the window, away from the prying hands and coaxing voice. He couldn’t reason why he should pull away.

Something twisted in his chest, and he briefly considered opening his eyes, turning towards that sweet voice that promised solace and comfort. But it was difficult, much too difficult. _Why move?_ His thoughts questioned. _You’re safer right here...Why bother with the outside... Why even exist at all?..._

He vaguely heard his name being murmured over and over above him like a prayer, but it was faint, as if he was hearing it from underwater. The sweet cadence reminded him of a distant memory, another woman who had tried so hard to right him on his path.

He clung to that thought, chased it down the current of his mind, pushing aside all other distractions until he grasped the memory that called out to him so.

Frigga.

Loki’s heart turned to ice. Suddenly that sickening feeling returned, the world falling away beneath him and leaving him in that dreadful freefall.

Frigga was dead. His mother was dead.

 

 _Loki_.

Darcy watched helplessly as Loki shuddered against the window pane. He was pale, paler even than he usually was. His eyes were wrenched shut as if he were in pain, mouth turned into a grimace, hands fisted tightly into his too-loose clothes.

Calling out to him softly, she crept towards the god.

“Loki, Loki, baby...come back to me.”

Darcy reached out for his hands, tried to pry the cold fingers open, pull him out of his trance.

When he flinched and pulled away, Darcy felt tears prick at her eyes. Helpless and desperate, she crouched down next to him.

She could feel the chill radiating from his body. It didn’t help that the rain outside had frosted the glass of the window. In the weak lighting, his once proud and regal profile looked vulnerable, broken. He was so frail.

She traced his face lightly, not even daring to breathe as her fingers brushed against the contours of his face. He stirred slightly, turning towards her ever so slightly, flinching against nothing. Darcy held her breath.

“Frigga,” he breathed.

Darcy’s heart broke then. The tears that had threatened before fell in earnest, and she fell away from him, wracked with sobs. When she regained a little control, she curled up against the frozen god, gripping his one free hand in hers tightly.

Blinking back the tears, Darcy lifted her other hand and stroked his hair. She wasn’t sure if it was more for his benefit or hers.

“Please, Lokes, come back to me," she pleaded. "Come back to me..."

 

 


	2. Heaven is a Place on Earth

_Three days ago..._

Loki stretched out comfortably, legs crossed out in front of him on the wide coffee table. The bright afternoon sunlight was a little too warm for his liking, but he was far too relaxed to move into the shade.

It was a curious feeling, being so calm. After two years of constant pain and turmoil, and another year of humbling 'rehabilitation', the demi-god was unused to moments of quiet with no strings attached. No cell walls, no numbing darkness, stretching out forever. The memories of such times pressed against Loki's subconsciousness, always threatening to bubble over. Even the careful attention of SHIELD psychiatrists could not remedy such torment. Loki kept the pain in check. He had to; the terms of his rehabilitation depended on it. SHIELD placed a great deal of "trust" in him, allowing him to remain on Midgard, but Loki knew Fury held no reservations towards discreetly terminating him if he proved a threat a second time.

Loki blinked back the sun from his eyes, turning his face into the couch cushions and at the same time, clearing the thoughts of his situation from his mind. He concentrated instead on breathing, and the white noise around him.

Stark's living area was disturbingly quiet, just as Loki preferred it to be. Usually there was someone around, a SHIELD agent to make sure he stayed in line. Not today.

The residential sector of Stark Tower was empty but for him. The majority of the Avengers, plus Pepper Potts, were in Scotland dealing with a PR nightmare resulting from some SHIELD counterstrikes gone wrong. Banner, Jane, and Thor were in Asgard, mostly for Jane's benefit, as she recovered still from the affects of the aether. This left Loki alone, perhaps for the first time, in his new home. Well, not quite _alone_...

"Hey! You're supposed to stay within twenty feet of me, magic man!"

Loki opened one eye, squinting into the bright light. Standing before him, hands on her hips and blue eyes flashing, was his pet SHIELD agent for the day.

"Ah, Ms. Lewis. I was wondering when you'd notice my absence." He feigned aloofness, closing his eyes again and stretching out languidly.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Dude, if you hated Downton Abbey that much, you could have just said. You didn't have to go all magic poof-disappearing act on me. Besides, even if the gang trusts you enough now to let you stay here sans SHIELD babysitter, you're still supposed to be where I can see you."

She stepped over the coffee table and swung her legs over Loki's, moving to sit beside him on the couch. Loki reached up before she could sit and pulled her into his lap. He immediately brought his hands to her waist, holding her snugly in his arms.

"It wasn't so much the programme as it was _you,_ darling," he said wryly. "You kept glancing over at me every time one of those repulsive aristocrats did something you found morally offensive. I was beginning to suspect you meant it as a stab at my character."

Darcy blinked at the position, somewhat surprised, but then grinned unabashedly at his comments. "Well, technically, I am still overseeing your cultural rehabilitation. I was just making sure to continue your education. Downton Abbey is a well respected tool for teaching former villains morals."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Is that so," he said, raising his head to press a soft kiss against her throat.

Darcy nodded, slightly distracted. "Uhuh. Very important Midgardian cultural exercise."

Loki made a soft noise in the back of his throat that could have meant "I don't believe a word you just said", or "Your fanatic obsession with this show and subsequent attempts to justify it as a means of educating me was adorable." Darcy chose to believe the latter, eyes fluttering shut at his affections.

Loki continued pressing light kisses against her neck and jaw. His hands were pressed against the small of her back, holding her firmly in his lap. Darcy hummed softly, enjoying the attention, but unsure of what to do. This was the first time they had been truly alone together, no agents outside the door, no cameras documenting their every word and movement.

Her hands drifted up his body slowly, before tentatively landing on his shoulders. She toyed with the ends of his dark hair that curled just above the deep green of his shirt collar.

"So," she said, trying to break the silence that she suddenly found awkward. "Um, no one is in the Tower today, huh?"

Loki pulled away and looked up at her, expression unreadable. "You are displeased by this?"

Darcy shook her head. "No, no! Of course not. It's just that, y'know, with your _situation_ , we haven't really ever had alone time before." She shrugged. "I just didn't know if..."

"You thought I wouldn't seek you out unless it was necessary."

Darcy bit her lip. It was true. Over the year that they had known each other, most of their interactions had been in sterile SHIELD facilities or on carefully planned and monitored outings into New York. Not exactly great places for budding relationships. And it was a relationship, however fragile. From hostile partners to tentative friends, and most recently, something more. Loki had made his interest clear, but until now, there was no way for her to tell if it was a product of their close proximity, or if what he felt was real. That he really wanted her.

Loki cupped her chin in his hand, lowering her face so he could look at her directly. His green eyes met hers seriously.

"Trust me, Darcy Lewis. There is no place I would rather be."

Darcy breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, cool, because I was kind of worried. I mean, I know we've been talking and sneaking kisses and shit like that for a while, but, like, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was still the intern with the glasses and you're this amazing god that I will never be good enough for and did I mention that you're super hot and I think I'm in love with you--"

Loki choked. "Darcy," he said, eyes wide. Darcy stopped mid-rant, her words sinking in. She blinked and seemed to shut down and reboot, before--

"Fuck!! Shitfuckshit, I totally did not mean, I mean I meant it, but I--"

"Darcy," Loki said firmly. "Listen to me. Of all the mortals I have encountered in my time here, you alone have tried to understand me. You alone have listened, have drawn from me the memories of my time under Thanos' rule. You have done more to quiet the agony in my mind, than any other, save one."

He spoke these last words in a tone so low it was barely a whisper against Darcy's skin. Darcy swallowed, knowing he spoke of Frigga, his mother. He talked about her often, always with a hint of bitterness in his voice, though his eyes revealed a longing to see the woman who had raised him again.

Loki closed his eyes and took a breath. He leaned forward, touching his forehead to Darcy's. There was a long silence as he simply held her there, and though neither would admit it, they were both trembling from the words that hung unspoken between them. Loki was the first to break the silence as he continued.

"I too, share your sentiment," he admitted. Darcy could feel his eyelashes flutter against her face for a moment, as if he had opened his eyes to watch her as he spoke those words. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and didn't doubt that he could hear it as well. For a moment, she imagined that his heart beat as quickly as her own.

She licked her lips, watched as his eyes traced the motion, eyes dark.

"My heart, you are no mere intern. You are clever, and brave, and beautiful."

There was a hint of a growl in his voice now, his previous hesitation melting away as he placed his hands back around Darcy's waist.

"You are just, and ridiculous, and insatiably curious," he murmured, ghosting his lips across hers. "I have waited for this moment, where I could touch you and tell you exactly what you are to me, precious."

Darcy could feel heat pooling in her belly at his words. She bit her lip and felt her pulse quicken as Loki's eyes darkened further. His grip around her waist tightened, and he slid one hand up to the back of her neck.

Darcy decided to attempt one last shot at humor. "So, I guess that means you have a crush on me, Lokes," she teased.

Loki growled, slanting his mouth across hers in a bruising kiss. Darcy responded, pressing herself against him and kissing him soundly. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled his silky black hair and tilted his head back so she could lick into his mouth. He growled into her mouth, biting down on her lower lip. She gasped. His hands moved down to cup her ass, pulling her even closer against him.

It was electric. They had been dancing around this for weeks, no months. It was like nothing Darcy imagined. They broke apart, panting. Loki moved to her neck, biting and sucking and leaving little marks across her pale skin. Darcy moaned, unable to help shifting in his lap. She swung one leg over to the other side of his lap, straddling him. As Loki bit down on her shoulder she rolled her hips into and felt him shudder beneath her.

"Gods, Darcy," he groaned. "Looked what you've done to me."

But he didn't give her a chance. Slowly, almost painfully so, he brought his lips back to hers in a tender kiss. It was sweeter than the first kiss, just the softest touch between them, but it felt like fire. Darcy could feel herself flushed and heart racing.

"Loki, I need you," she whispered, lips still touching his. He nodded, slid his hands beneath her worn t-shirt, caressing the soft skin there. They continued the kiss, not wanting to break apart even for a second.

A loud crack of thunder sounded in the room, followed by a blinding light.

Darcy jumped, and Loki was immediately at his feet in front of her, arms protectively spread to defend against whatever had caused the disturbance.

When the light had subsided, Darcy gasped at what stood before them. Dr. Banner, Jane and Thor were standing in the center of the room.

Loki immediately knew something was wrong. Thor wore his battle armor, and it was stained with blood. Jane was crying, face streaked with grime and clothes tattered. Banner was his usual calm, but there was an eerie tinge of green to his complexion.

Darcy ran to Jane.

"Jane! Oh my god, what happened?!"

Thor crossed over to Loki, his expression grim.

"Brother."

"Thor."

Loki clenched and unclenched his fists, ill at ease. "Why have you returned so suddenly?"

Thor looked at him long, his usually cheery face shadowed with grief. Loki's heart sank. Whatever had happened, it was very bad.

"Loki, it's mother. She is..."

Loki's eyes widened. _No, no, not her, anything but her...._

Thor looked at his brother with the deepest sadness in his eyes.

 

"Frigga is dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2!! Thank you so much for the response to the first chapter guys, I had no idea it would actually take off. <3 <3 <3
> 
> So, if it isn't clear yet in this chapter, this is an AU where the avengers find out/know that Loki was mindcontrolled for the events of The Avengers, after the events of Thor. He is then rehabilitated (and culturally educated by our favourite girl). However, Loki is still very traumatized by his torture/mindcontrol/etc. 
> 
> So, things should be getting a little more plotty from now on. As always, please let me know what needs clarification. This is un-beta'd, sooo. yeah. 
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of starting a lighter drabble series, since this is going to be very angsty. If you guys want to see that, send me prompts at beatificangel.tumblr.com!

**Author's Note:**

> So....there it is. I'm still not sure if this is going to have more chapters, or if it's best left as a one shot. Let me know?
> 
> The song quoted at the beginning is Black Beauty by Lana Del Rey.


End file.
